old letter #1

hey babe. im really sorry if i over reacted over you falling asleep. i know it may seem like im being selfish and im sorry. i just felt like so much shit. like yesterday had to been the worst. i hella missed you and all i could think about was you. everything just reminded me of you. and it sucked. and i just really wanted to talk to you cause i missed you so much. i love you more than anything in the world. and you mean so much to me. i am so happy i met you. you make me get this feeling inside every time im with you or talking to you that i have never felt before. i thought i knew what love was before, but i was wrong. but now i met you i know what love is. and i really love you so much. im so sorry for getting so mad. im sorry if i seem to blow things up bigger than they are. all i know is that i really don’t want to lose you. you mean so much to me. and me and you have been through a lot already. its crazy. being even further from you is gonna be even harder. the time difference is gonna kill us. and i was unsure what to do. i didn’t know wether we should keep trying or to just give up. i just felt it was unfair for you to wait. and im scared that if we do try, that in the end im just going to lose you anyways. but your right. its a chance im us going to have to take. i just don’t want to lose you. im scared to lose you. you mean more than the world to me. your really what i look forward to everyday. even if i don’t get to see you i love talking to you. im gonna try really hard to make this work. and i hope you do the same. i just don’t want what happen wen i was at basic training to happen again. i never really told you this, but that killed me inside. i didn’t know what to do. but i just couldn’t stop talking to you. as much as i told myself to, i couldn’t. and im glad i didn’t stop cause i would have probably have lost you. im just really scared thats going to happen again. but im hoping and praying it wont. i just want these next 6 months to go by fast. i want to be able to hold you in my arms again. i want you to still be mine. im dying inside right now knowing i cant have you with me. i knew how i was gonna feel like wen this day came. but i still couldn’t prepare myself for it. thats why i got so angry wen i was with you that last week. and im so sorry. the only thing i want in the world is to be with you. this sucks so bad right now. im flying to LA right now. and tomorrow morning ill be on a flight to korea. this is going to be really hard. but im willing to keep trying if you are. your right of not being able to promise each other anything. and i shouldn’t hold you to anything. but im just so scared of losing you. i love you more than anything and don’t ever forget that. no matter how distant we feel from each other, that will never ever change. i love you so much! and you mean so much to me! ok well im gonna send this through Facebook and ill call you wen i land in LA. i love you babe. bye. =)