old letter #3

hey babe. well its 10:22 pm on thursday. and im sitting here in my barracks room. i cant sleep so im writing this letter. haha. my roomates are all sleeping right now. but we have to wake up hella early tommorrow to turn in our linen and shit cause were leaving. im hella nervous for tomorrow. im hella hoping and praying i stay here in yongson. or at least go to camp humphrey down further south. fuck i wont be able to sleep tonight cause im hella stressing ang thinking about that crap. and im thinking about you too. i hella miss you! and everytime i think about you i get really sad and homesick. i jus wish i was with you so much right now. everytime i think about all the fun shit we’ve done hella makes me sad. like everytime im on facebook i look at the missouri pictures and they make me miss you so much. i hella feel like i took that crap forgranted. and wen i think about all the times a i mad at you and all the time we wasted pisses me off. i hella regret all that. and now all i want is to hug and hold you and never let go. but i cant. i jus really wana see you. i hate how we got to say bye to eachother. i regret not hugging you and kissing you more before i left. and now that i think about it, it makes me hella mad. and i wish i can go back in time and fix things but i cant. and now i have to be 6months apart from you. i really hope we can be strong and make it through this. cause i wanna be with you so bad. i really dont want to lose you babe. your like the best thing that has ever came into my life. and i dont ever wanna lose you. i think we can make it through this. if we really do love and care about eachother as much as we say we do then we should geet through this just fine. we cant make any promises and watever happens, happens. cause everything happens for a reason. want me to tell you something? ok well you remember wen we got in that argument about you falling asleep on me? and we “broke up”? and i was like im scared to try? well the reason why im so scared to try and wait cause thats wa i did with taylor. like wen me and her broke up i tried everything and anything to get back with her. but she kept telling me she needed more time. so i kept giving her more time. she kept telling me to wait and i did. then finally a month later or so, she said she didnt wanna try anymore. and it killed me. ya kno? like i waited so patiently for her and respected wat she wanted and i basicly did all of it for no reason. cause i waited for so long and we still didnt get back together. so thats why i have that like weird thing ya kno? like im scared that were gonna try and try but in the end im still gonna lose you. thats wat im hella scared about. but i come to realize that if i dont try at all im gonna lose you. wen if i at least try theres still hope ya kno? well yeah, thats my story. lol. i jus really miss you and love you so damn much babe. i jus wanna be with you. and remember i told you that one day that i thought i knew wat love was before? and that i was wrong? well i meant that. i thought i was in love with taylor, but after getting to meet you and fall for you its all different. like you make me feel a certain way that i have never felt before. its hard to explain. you take my mind off everything. you make me forget about all my worries and problems. you jus make me feel so comfortable around you. you make me talking, hanging out and everything with you so easy and chill. and i love it. your perfect for me. i jus kno that i really love you and i care about you so much. your an amazing person and im grateful to have you. you put up with a lot of my crap that other girls probably would jus leave me for. and i take it for granted. like all the little things you did wen i was home for leave. and all i did was argue. i see and understand now all the little things you did for me. and im so sorry for jus kno realizing and noticeing it now.like i said, i took a lot of things for granted. i love you so much. well ok i have to go to sleep now. you probably wont get this till later tomorrow night or something cause i still have to copy and paste this on facebook cause im typing this on my word document thingy right now cause theres no internet here in the TYC barracks. lol. well ok babe ill talk to you tommorrow. i love you and miss you so much. take care, e safe and smart. i miss you! i love you dont ever forget that. i love you babe! =)