why now?

i dont know why, but recently, ive been thinking about her more than usual. i mean i think about her a little everyday, but for some reason this past week or so ive really been thinking about her. and its driving me crazy. because everytime i get into depth about her, i think wayy back. from when things first started. from all our great adventures. to us jus chilling and talking. then i think about the bigger things, like her hanging out with me and my family. or her traveling to the middle of the country to see me. those are the ones that really get me. yet i still have her pictures hanging up in my room here. i jus cant seem to find it in me to take them down. no matter how hurt i am or how mad i am at her, i just cant take them down. ill be honest, i miss her like crazy still. and im still madly in love with her. but she forgot all about me. thats wat kills me. it seems like i dont exsits anymore. like nothing ever happened. she seems to be moving on to bigger and better things, while im still sitting here stuck in the past. stuck in this fantasy. wishing things would go back to how they were. when in reality, i know they never will. i know that its done and that there isnt anymore hope. but i still keep a little bit of hope. i jus miss her. i miss the way things were. i miss before i left for basic, i miss all the times i came home. i miss her coming to see me. i jus miss it all. im still stuck in this fantasy world reminiscing about the what if’s. :’(