korea, AGAIN!

so im finally back from leave. leave was pretty fun. i still have no idea what the hell i did my first week home. it hella felt like a waste of days. i wished i would have went this week and left next week. but oh well. fuck it. i still had fun on leave. got my heart broken yet again. i let my guard down and i got hurt yet again. its what ever though. im for sure done this time. she did me hella wrong. hella hurt my feeling and broke my heart. like she really did break my heart. but fuck it. wasnt meant to be. cant force anything that doesnt want to be. but i think i had 2 highlights out of my whole trip. the first one was going to chico to see taylor. that trip hella rekindled the flame and was really fun. i realized that she was perfect for me but i just fucked it all up like usual. shes a really chill ass down to earth faithful girl. i wished i still had her in my life. but theres no hope. i ruined it all. plus im in the army. :( hella gay. but the other highlight of my trip was going out to dinner with my cousins and watching a movie. the food was hella good and the movie was pretty cool. i wished i could have spent more time with them but they had school and work and shit. but watever. maybe next time things will be more planned. i jus cant wait to leave korea now. im tired of this hell hole. i miss home. i miss my friends and family like crazy. i still ask myself till this day why the hell did i ever sign that contract and join. man. sometimes i wonder if it was the biggest mistake of my life. it seems to have ruined a lot of good thing. but also it has helped me grow up and appreciate things a lot more. idk its whatever. i just wanna be in the states now. only 5 more months and some change to go! i cant wait.