i dont know why, but recently, ive been thinking about her more than usual. i mean i think about her a little everyday, but for some reason this past week or so ive really been thinking about her. and its driving me crazy. because everytime i get into depth about her, i think wayy back. from when things first started. from all our great adventures. to us jus chilling and talking. then i think about the bigger things, like her hanging out with me and my family. or her traveling to the middle of the country to see me. those are the ones that really get me. yet i still have her pictures hanging up in my room here. i jus cant seem to find it in me to take them down. no matter how hurt i am or how mad i am at her, i just cant take them down. ill be honest, i miss her like crazy still. and im still madly in love with her. but she forgot all about me. thats wat kills me. it seems like i dont exsits anymore. like nothing ever happened. she seems to be moving on to bigger and better things, while im still sitting here stuck in the past. stuck in this fantasy. wishing things would go back to how they were. when in reality, i know they never will. i know that its done and that there isnt anymore hope. but i still keep a little bit of hope. i jus miss her. i miss the way things were. i miss before i left for basic, i miss all the times i came home. i miss her coming to see me. i jus miss it all. im still stuck in this fantasy world reminiscing about the what if’s. :’(
“” i think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories but find yourself moving on. It’s perfectly normal.” - sparks”
I LOVED YOU. MORE THAN ANYTHING.
idk wether to hate your guts or to understand where your coming from. i mean i understand where your coming from, i just dont get why. i dont get how u say were perfect for each other. how you say your in love with me. how u say you care so much about me. but then not want to be with me. i mean i understand im far away. i understand i cant BE THERE with you. but distance shoudnt matter. if your truly love a person, youll find a way to make it work. i really thought you were the one. you made me feel so complete. you were my everything. now i just hate what you did to me. i hate how i feel so empty now. i hate that your with a fucking idiot. i hate that your not mine anymore. i just miss you. i miss everything. but hey, if it wasnt meant to be then so be it. but i really did think you were the one. i really loved you, more than anything. i would have married you. now i cant stop hating you. i cant stop thinking about how bad you broke my heart. how devestated youve made me. but its alright. maybe one day ill forgive you. i just hope your happy now. i hope you made the right decision. now because of you, im scared to let someone close to me. now im scared to be in another relationship. i can honestly say that i have had my heart broken. i dont feel like i can ever look at you the same anymore. i dont think i can look at you period. right now, theres just too much hate. i hate how shit is. we were best friends, we were a couple, we were happy but last but certainly not least, we were in love. you were one of the 2 people i felt i could tell anything to and not be judge. you werent just my girlfriend, but you were my best friend. you will never understand. as much as i want to forgive you, i just feel like i cant. i feel like you did me dirty. but whatever. do your thing. like i said, i hope your happy now. cause im dying inside. we’ve been through so much. we made it through harder times. and for what now? nothing. it was all a waste. sometimes i wish i never met you. would have made my life easier. but its cool. fuck it. thats my mentality now. i dont care about shit. when i come home in febuary or march, dont you dare see me. dont even dare talking to me. fuck that. have a great fucking life. goodbye
“People told me slow my roll I’m screaming out fuck that”
“Life’s a bitch, naw, better yet a dumb broad”
“We walk the same path, but got on different shoes
Live in the same building, but we got different views”
“Life is a beach, I’m just playin’ in the sand”
╔══╗♫♪
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╚══╝ Routine
